My Diary

1-19-1998 thru 1-21-1998


January 19, 1998

I'm really doing pretty good now. Both places they did surgery on are still very sore and hurt a lot, but Aspirin and Ibuprofen pretty much take care of it.

I called the Medical College today in Portland. This is our largest city. They are about 2 hours from here. I explained what was going on with me and asked for a name of a doctor to be referred to. Then I called my main doctor's office and got an appointment for Friday.

Each and every doctor (6 of them) have said that it is Lipomas, but they do not know why they pop up every day, why they are growing so rapidly and why they hurt. They say Lipomas usually show up in just ones. Rarely does anyone get more than one. I usually get one or more every day or so. They say that it would take months for them to grow as large as mine have and that usually they do not ever get this big. My largest one is now 3" across and 5 1/2" long. I have no idea how deep it is. And last but not least, they hurt all the time and boy... if you touch them, it sends me through the roof.

When I asked my doctor to refer me to Portland 3 weeks ago, he refused and said that he didn't know any doctors up there. Well, now I have the name of 4 doctors and the phone number, so he has no more excuses. When I go in Friday I am going to tell him I want referred to a doctor up there. When he says no, I'm going to hand him the list and tell him to call one of them. If he refuses to do that, then I am going to tell him that he is no longer my doctor and walk out.

I will find another doctor that will take this seriously. The nurse I spoke to in Portland said that it was very important that I get up there as soon as possible. She said this is not the way Lipomas act and that they would take care of me up there. So, that's where I am at now. I'm going to be firm this time and not beg and plead like I have been doing in the past. It's time I took control of this situation. There has to be a reason for them coming on so fast, growing so big and hurting.


Friday, January 21, 1998

I went to the doctor today. Since I had my surgery many of the lumps have gotten bigger. In addition I discovered more. These are behind my knees on my legs. These are painful as well.

This time I told him that I had received more lumps and that the others had gotten bigger. I was very firm about it, which is unusual for me. I think he took me seriously because he then proceeded to examine me very thoroughly this time. In a whole different way than he had examined me before. This time he felt from my wrists up to my shoulders and all around my arms. When he was done I said, "It's not cancer right?" Always in the past he has answered very quickly and emphatically and said, "No, it is not cancer." Well, this time he didn't do that. He paused for a bit and then said, "I don't think it is cancer." I said, "You told me before it was NOT cancer." He said after another pause, "Well, it appears to be Lipomas." I said, "But you told me it was NOT cancer." He said again after a pause, "Well, I don't think it's cancer because they do feel kind of like Lipomas." I said, "Well, cancer does not grow this fast, right?" He paused again and said, "Yes it can." Well that kinda stopped me in my tracks. I didn't know what to say to that. He had been assuring me since September that there was no way that it could be cancer. Now, after examining me more thoroughly than he ever had before, he was no longer sure.

So, I asked what the results of the biopsy were. He searched for them in my file and they were not there. He had a very concerned look on his face then. He said they should have been there by now. It had been 8 days for gosh sakes. Where the heck were they? Since this time I talked to my boss about it and she said this is what happened with her aunt who has cancer. She said they had done a biopsy and usually within 3 days it is back. She said the first test showed cancer and so from there they do additional tests to double check and make sure it is cancer. Then once it shows up a second time, then they do tests to find out exactly what kind it is. So... needless to say... this has me a bit worried to say the least. Between the fact that the biopsy is not back yet and then my doctor's reaction to the questions about cancer... well, it just doesn't sound as good as it did a week ago. But, I'm going to keep a level head about it and not worry about it anymore. But you can bet I'll be dang upset if it is cancer because I have begged since day one, back in September to have a biopsy done on it and he would not do that.

Then I very bluntly and emphatically told him, "I want to go to Portland. My entire family, my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, my boss, and all my friends are worried sick about me. Every doctor I have been to, talked to, every nurse I have talked to all have said that this is not normal for Lipomas. So, there must be something else going on. I want to go to Portland to a specialist so they can find out what it is. I am extremely concerned about this." Well, as I expected, he stated that he did not know any doctors up there. Well, I was prepared for this. I reached behind me and handed him the piece of paper with 4 doctors names and the phone numbers on them. I explained to him that the lady said I should see one of these doctors and they would determine just which specialty and department that I should go to and they would refer me there. You should have seen the look on his face. It was pure shock!!!

I won't go into the rest of the conversation, but it ended with that he was going to talk to other specialists in our town and find out who they would recommend in Portland. He did say that he would only refer me one time. That he had no intention of referring me to specialists for the next 16 years until I could find the answer I was looking for. I thought that was pretty much crap. I told him that I was not looking for a certain answer, but that I just wanted an answer as to why it was happening, what it was, and if there was something I could do about it. I also said that I didn't want to live the rest of my life getting a new lump everyday. He stated that I just might have to. Well, in the end he said he would have an appointment for me by the end of the day Monday. So, if he does, then I'll stay with him as my doctor. If he will not, then I will find a doctor that will take my best interests at heart and refer me to doctor after doctor until he/I find one that would find the answer to what was going on.


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